If you’re quitting, chances are you found a new job – so first and foremost – CONGRATS. What an exciting problem to have. This next chapter is going to be amazing for you!
However, given you’re reading this article, chances are you’re like me in wanting to find the best way to quit. A way that exudes reflection and authenticity while also not burning any bridges (which is a delicate point to convey as you’re ultimately choosing another company over your old one).
Historically, I’ve taken two approaches to quitting:
The first approach centered around appreciation by way of lessons-learned. Here’s a sneak peak of the email I mass-sent on my last week:
I want to use this finite time celebrating what I believe is the best part about this place – this community of amazing people….
…Without further delay, the lessons:
1. [redacted name]: Find the balance of what you’re good at and what you like doing. Sometimes they’re the same – but the insightful conversations happen when they aren’t.
2. [redacted name]: We make decisions based on the toolbelt we have now. Tomorrow that toolbelt can look different. It’s important to recognize the differences when we reflect.
3. [redacted name]: Take the time to cheer on your coworkers. A small “I appreciate you” slack is a great starting point.
In this approach, I wanted to use memory and nostalgia as my signal of authenticity. To prove to leaders who were a bit upset at my exit, that I was ultimately grateful and incredibly appreciative of my time there.
Reminiscing on lessons-learned enabled me to reflect fondly on my greatest mentors while hopefully leaving the woodpile higher for others to take as inspiration.
What I learned most from this approach – it was effective and allowed me to have a handful of really special last-minute conversations. Having said that, this approach really only works if you spent a good amount of time at a company in a much more developmentally-facing role.
The second approach on the other hand, is really the opposite end of the spectrum. This approach centered around quietly riding into the sunset.
In this approach, there was no mass email, there was no long list of lessons-learned.
Instead, I quietly reached out to my favorite coworkers for a last 30 minute 1:1, then sent an email to everyone else as a courtesy goodbye.
At the time, the company I was saying goodbye to had a lot going on, so the last thing I wanted to do was to be a distraction or cause negative attention. More importantly, in the conversations I did have, including with the CEO of the company, I spoke my truth.
I of course naturally talked about what I loved and perhaps didn’t love in my role, but spent more time highlighting where I was going and the things I was excited to learn about. The conversation even transformed into advice and perspective from the CEO and his excitement at my future.
This forward-facing approach is only possible if you speak from the heart. To prove you are running towards something, not away from something, you have to mean it.
For me, that was undoubtedly true. And the best gauge of success is seeing how the conversation ends. If it ends with awkwardness and silence, you’re probably better off ending the call.
But if the call ends with a phone number exchange, plans to meet up, you spoke from the heart. And that’s worth applauding!
PS: there are absolutely cases where no amount of framing will avoid a negative reaction from leadership. In some cases, this may be the very reason why you’re leaving. If you’re someone in that bucket, I’d ride even quieter into the sunset. Limiting exposure is the best way to avoid confrontation. Can’t yell at someone you don’t see!
At the end of the day, the biggest takeaway highlights a point I made earlier. Your goodbye must be authentically YOU, in whatever brand you created at the company.
If you created an identity at the company that was inspirational and leadership-oriented, make your goodbye similar in tone and energy.
If your identity was more quiet and perhaps rooted in frustrated, consider taking a more passive and gentle approach.
I am a strong believer in personal brands, ones created intentional or not. So use that to your advantage when saying goodbye. There’s no other way to speak authentically than as the identity you’ve created.